


Pacman.

by vampsvngs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Crying, Implied Sexual Content, Lee Felix - Freeform, Love, M/M, Sad, based off pacman by eaj, being played with, broken relationship, but barely, mentions of depression, mentions of felix - Freeform, sad shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampsvngs/pseuds/vampsvngs
Summary: loving minho was just getting too hard for chan.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Pacman.

**Author's Note:**

> stream pacman
> 
> kinda beta read

_ “ loving you’s just getting harder and harder to do… ” _

Anyone could see how in love Chan is with Minho by looking at him. They could see it in the oldest of the two eyes. For people that don’t know the couple, love is all that they will see in Chan’s eyes. They’d have to  _ know  _ them to see that there is also sadness within the eldest eyes when he looks at Minho. It’s behind all the love and admiration. They don’t see that he is suffering internally.

Why is the sadness there? Some may ask.

Here’s the answer to that question, Minho doesn’t love Chan.

Why is Minho still with Chan? A few others have questioned.

Well, Minho likes to toy with people’s emotions and use them for his pleasure. Chan just happens to be the latest one. So far, the elder is the longest person he’s been with and he finds that  _ enjoyable _ .

Chan’s friends always ask him why he doesn’t just leave the younger when he  _ knows  _ Minho is just playing with his emotions.

“I love him too much to let him go,” he would answer, everytime.

Of course that doesn’t mean it’s not hard to love the younger male though. Chan has  _ tried  _ to get Minho to love him, he has for the past year. It does get tiring at times but, Chan hasn’t given up  _ yet _ , at least. Most of his friends think he never will.

  
  


Currently, Chan is holding his cell phone up to his ear, listening to it ring. “Please pick up,” he whispers into his phone. When he calls the younger, his mind always tells him not to and to just hang up. Chan doesn’t listen to this, of course. He’d do anything to hear the younger males voice. Chan, himself, doesn’t know why he continues to let himself get hurt. There’s always fucked up thoughts swarming his mind, thinking that in some way, he deserves all of this.

“Hey, Channie.” the younger says as he picks up. Chan’s eyes brighten and a smile forms on his face. Of course he knows that Minho is bored but the younger picking the phone up does make him happy.

“Hi! I’ve missed you and I want to see you,” the elder says quickly. Maybe he’s a tad too overly excited.

“I miss you too, baby.” Chan knows that’s a lie but he ignores that and instead melts and blushes over being called “baby”. “Do you want to come over here?” the younger then asks.

“Yeah, I will be there in a few!” Chan says happily. They say their goodbyes and Chan is quickly out the door.

~

A gasp leaves Chan’s lips when he feels the younger start to suck on the skin under his ear. The grip he has on Minho’s hair tightens a little, making the younger smirk against his skin. Chan  _ knew  _ this is only what Minho wanted when he came over. He didn’t care though, he just wants the younger.

Chills run down his spine when he feels Minho’s cold fingers slip under his shirt. “Kiss me,” the elder mumbles, moving to where his arms wrap around the younger males neck.

Minho pulls back some, a small smirk forming on his face, and he leans in to kiss the elder. Chan happily sighs into the kiss and pulls the other closer, making Minho let out a chuckle.

“Can I take these off?” Minho asks, snaking his hand down to Chan’s pants, messing with the zipper.

“Please,” the elder whimpers.

It doesn’t take long for them to strip each. Soon enough, Minho’s room is filled with loud moans and soft whimpers, like it always is every weekend, when Minho gets bored.

  
  


“  _ play me over and over, pacman and lover... _ ”

  
  


Chan wakes up to an empty bed, like he always does. He listens for any noise, just in case the younger might still be home. A frown forms in his face when he realizes that the younger isn’t there.

The brunette slowly gets up and heads towards the kitchen. Once he enters, he notices a sticky note on the table. He walks over to the table and picks it up.

  
  


_ ~ will be out for a few hrs and I don’t know when I’ll be back. You can go home if you want, by the way. _

_ — minho _

  
  


Chan sighs out after he reads the note. He places it back on top of the table and then goes to make him something to eat. As he makes himself breakfast, he decides to just stay there and wait for the younger. He’s sure that it wouldn’t be a bad idea.

~

Hours pass and Minho  _ finally _ makes it home. At first, the younger doesn’t notice the elder laying on his couch,  _ until _ he hears the soft music coming from the living room. Minho turns his attention to that direction, seeing Chan laying there, his eyes closed and phone playing music. A frown forms on his face.

He walks over and lightly shakes his boyfriend and says, “Chan, wake up.”

Chan’s eyes flutter open and he looks up at the younger. “Oh! Welcome back,” he says softly. His words are slurred a bit from sleep.

“Get up baby,” the other starts, “I thought I said you could go home?”

Chan frowns at Minho’s words and rubs his eyes. “I wanted to stay here… and wait for you.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, I know, but I  _ wanted  _ to. Did you not want me here?” Chan feels more awake now. He sits up to look at Minho better, his feelings all messed up.

“That’s not it,” Minho answers.

The elder hesitates with what he’s about to say next. “Am I just a game to you?”

This question catches Minho off guard. “I… what? Where is this coming from?” he asks.

“You know what, I’ll just answer for: I  _ am _ . I’m getting tired of your little  _ game  _ you are playing with me and… I hope you run out of quarters s-soon,” Chan’s voice starts to break at the end.

“So you want me to leave you?” Minho questions, eyebrow raised. “Because I can.”

Chan panics a little, “No, I don’t mean that! I-I just mean, I want you to  _ love _ me, u-until death.”

It stays silent between the two, they just stare at each other. Minho eventually speaks up, “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m going to go home.” Chan sighs out.

“Okay, stay safe.”

As much as Chan wants Minho to stop him from leaving, he knows the younger won’t. Once he shuts the door, he has bite down on his lip to stop himself from crying, he didn’t want the younger to hear him. He quickly makes his way home so he can let everything out.

  
  


———

  
  


Weeks pass and Chan’s emotions just get worse. Whenever he goes to Minho’s, he just sits there and  _ tries  _ to listen to Minho talk or listen to the younger trying to convince him to go to the bedroom. Chan, of course, thinks he is only doing that for sex.

Minho has surprised himself with worrying about Chan. Maybe, he might actually care, he just doesn’t know it’s too late.

“Channie,” Minho starts off in a whine, “let’s go to my room, okay?”

“So you can sleep with me?” Chan finally answers. Though, this answer makes Minho frown.

“No, to cuddle or, I don’t know, just make you feel better,” he replies. Chan looks up at the younger, Minho could see a bit of anger in the elders eyes.

“Oh, you want to treat me like I’m your boyfriend  _ now _ ? Why couldn’t you do that months ago?” Chan says, his voice raising and shaking a bit.

Minho hesitates a bit, “You being more upset than usual has made me realize I should stop playing around with you and  _ actually  _ be a boyfriend to you.”

“Do you think it’s that easy?” Chan asks, getting up. He starts to pace the room slowly.

Minho looks down at his hands and plays with his fingers. “Y-yeah, I do,” he admits. Chan rolls his eyes at this and starts to get up. “Where are you going?” Minho then asks, his voice small.

“I’m going home,” Chan mutters, slipping one of his shoes on.

“Wait! Please stay?” the younger pleads, walking towards the older.

“Why? You never wanted me to before, you had me leave the next day.” Chan crosses his arms. He may look  _ very  _ pissed, which he is, but this all hurts more than anything. Chan has tried  _ so  _ long to get Minho to care, and  _ now  _ the younger decides to care?

“I want to try and make it up to you, baby.” the younger says. Chan can tell he’s being sincere but he doesn’t want to deal with this anymore.

“No, Minho. You are not going to try and make it up to me and we are  _ not  _ going to fix anything. I’ve had enough,” Chan opens the door, “It’s over Min, goodbye.” Minho watches Chan leave with a shocked expression.

  
  


Chan doesn’t head home, he heads to Felix’s house instead. He lightly knocks on the door and waits for the younger to open it up.

“Oh, hi hyung. Come in,” Felix says once he opens it. Chan walks in, wrapping his arms around himself. “Is there anything wrong?” The younger could sense that the elder is upset.

“Yeah,” Chan mutters softly.

“Okay, let’s go to the couch.” Felix leads them there and has them sit on the couch. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

The elder looks up at Felix, his lip quivering. “I-I… I broke up with M-Minho,” he answers.

Felix’s eyes widen some, “You did?”

Chan nods his head, “Yeah, h-he wanted to fix everything b-but I couldn’t  _ do  _ it anymore. So, I-I broke up with him and left.”

Felix’s frown deepens after hearing what Chan had said. He knows how much the elder loves Minho and knows how just a few weeks ago, Chan didn’t want to lose him. “Do you want to go into my room and cuddle? Maybe even watch a movie?”

“That sounds good,” Chan answers. The younger gets the two of them up, him wrapping an arm around Chan. He walks them to his room.

It doesn’t take Felix long to get everything ready and soon enough, the two are cuddling. Half way through the movie, Felix notices Chan is asleep. He makes sure the elder is comfortable and starts turning off everything.

He gets back in bed, staying close to the other. “Goodnight, hyung,” he whispers and kisses his forehead.

  
  


At Minho’s place, he’s throwing things, taking it all harder than he thought. “Fuck,” he says looking around. “There you are!” He picks up a picture frame, looking at the picture, it’s of him and Chan. He throws it across the room, feeling better when it smashes into pieces.

He sighs out as he looks around again, seconds later. Regret already seeping through his body. He walks into his room and plops down in his bed. He sighs out and lays back, tears threatening to spill. He wonders  _ why  _ he even reacted the way he did.

“Maybe I actually did like him,” he mutters to himself.

  
  


“  _ if i die it’s with you… ” _


End file.
